Today, Mark Divine speaks with his friend Tom McCarthy (@thetommccarthy1) and uncovers how Tom helps people overcome their perceived limits to push through to greatness. Tom shares his own transformation from an introverted, shy kid to a student of Tony Robbins, and eventually a masterful public speaker for audiences of thousands.
Tom’s vision for the world is one of abundance, health, and prosperity. He believes empowered individuals can push all limits and do the impossible, even reverse pollution and restore the health of the entire planet. His new book, The Breakthrough Code: A Story About Living A Life Without Limits, comes out this month.
Tom McCarthy is a father of two, husband of 30 years, CEO/Board Member of eight companies, early stage investor in 40+ companies and a worldwide philanthropist. After a successful career on Wall Street, Tom found his true passion…helping people in business, athletics and life break through their limitations and step into their full potential. Tom has been the peak performance coach for athletes who have won World Championships and Olympic Gold Medals.
“We Eat Pressure for Breakfast”
- Create your network of empowerment. Having great relationships with people allows your business to build itself. You don’t have to go looking for people. They will come to you.
- Use the power of your subconscious mind to create the vision of your results. The best time to do this is when you’re in a semi-awake state right after waking up or before drifting off to sleep. Create this vision of yourself, feel it, and believe it.
- Let go of the old baggage to upgrade your story and your life. You can’t just pile positive on top of negative. That’s just covering it up. You have to be curious about what’s holding you back, root it out, and then extract it.
- Tom’s OPT (Optimal Performance Thoughts) help create your upgraded story. It doesn’t matter if your story is absolute truth; your story is there to serve you in being your best.
There’s always an advantage. Find that advantage when life throws you a curveball. The pandemic could have destroyed Tom’s business, but instead he focused on adapting by virtualizing, and now his business is more successful than ever.
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Mark Divine 0:40
Welcome to the Mark Divine Show. I’m your host Mark Divine. This show, we’re going to discover and dive in and discuss what makes the world’s most inspirational and compassionate and resilient leaders. So courageous. We’ll talk in depth to people from all walks of life, martial arts grandmasters meditation experts, CEOs, elite military operators and leaders, Stoic philosophers, prod survivors, and many more. Each episode, I endeavor to turn the guests life experiences and insights into actionable ideas for you that we can follow and use to lead a life filled with more compassion, and more courage. Today, we’re going to be talking to my friend Tom McCarthy, about finding purpose navigating adversity. We’re going to create a life without limits and learn how to break through anything that is holding us back with his breakthrough code. Tom is a father married for 30 years. He’s a board member of eight companies, an early stage investor, and a philanthropist. Tom had an early successful career on Wall Street and worked with another friend of ours, Tony Robbins and became his head of sales. And that’s where he began his speaking and his coaching business out of there. Since then, Tom has been a peak performance coach for Olympic gold medalists. He’s also helped several CEOs and executive teams realize a dream of taking the companies public, and work for some fortune 500 companies helping with their sales training, presentation and coaching the executives. Here’s Tom. Toms, good to see you. Thanks for being on the show. I mean, it’s been a while we work together, what was it like 2001 or two, the warrior leader project and arena and all that
Tom McCarthy 2:25
that was a long time ago. Yeah, I was. I was just think about that. This morning, when we first met and you were at a restaurant, you just come from the seals and right. We’re working in business. And that was a long time ago. Yeah.
Mark Divine 2:39
You’re a top coach to executives and athletes and whatnot. Tell us a little bit. Tom, I’ve heard your story from the stage. But I know you worked with Tony Robbins for a while. What was kind of your origin story that got you into coaching and, and wanting to help other people,
Tom McCarthy 2:55
you know, probably starts when I was three years old. And I grew up in a military family. My dad was a West Point graduate in 82nd airborne, Fort Bragg, North Carolina. So we were stationed there. And then he went to Vietnam in 1963. So pretty early, it was a young guy, I think probably, you know, 29 years old captain in the army, right? Was there 11 months, one month before coming back and then was killed in Vietnam. I’m on. And so I can still remember looking out though I was three, but my bedroom door and you know, my mom had been talking about my dad coming home and, and seeing a taxi cab, pull up an army guy, you know, Army officer get out. And walking up to the house. I’m all excited. And my mom knew what was really going on. They were coming to tell her that my dad had been killed in Vietnam the day before. And this was back when there were only advisors in Vietnam. So it wasn’t the full blown, right, you know, whole military scale over there. You know, there’s a few advisors and my dad, I think was maybe the 100th person killed in the Vietnam War out of being like, 60,000, or something like that. Right? But when something like that happens to you at an early age, your life’s not black and white anymore, right? You don’t look at it, as you know, just accepting everything because your life doesn’t fit into the neat little buckets the way everyone else’s
Mark Divine 4:15
does. Seems to be anyways. Yeah, exactly.
Tom McCarthy 4:19
I mean, none of it does. But people you know, say this is right, that’s wrong. And I’m like, Well, how could that be? Right? Because, you know, look in my life, it doesn’t fit. And so I had, you know, a lot of pain in my childhood. And so I just really started looking at life differently. And I was reading books by Wayne Dyer, Denis Waitley. seeds of greatness, Wayne Dyer, you know your erroneous zones, not erogenous zones, but erroneous zones. I was reading that at like, ridiculously young age, you know, because I was really searching. And I went a pretty traditional path. I played, you know, some football at University of North Carolina college and on the outside I was kind of yeah, this person just you know, doing what I thought was expected. But inside I had lots of questions. And I was searching, searching and trying to grow. And I was with a Wall Street firm for a couple years out of college, was making good money had a couple houses and I didn’t love it. It’s kind of like, probably you when you’re an accountant, right? I’m like, There’s something else. Right? And so I see this guy, Tony Robbins, come on. I was watching TV for some reason, one morning cuz I didn’t want to go into work. And one of the morning shows, he comes on a district in his first book, which was called unlimited power. So it wasn’t even like a big name back then. Right? I’m watching I’m gonna go on, Hey, I gotta read that book. You know, I like what this guy’s talking about, like you have this power inside of you. That is unlimited. So I read the book, called his office, like, literally, three days later, I said, when’s your next seminar? And I said, Is this weekend, I’m on the East Coast flew out. And then my passion once I saw where you could have a bigger vision for other human beings, and then help them grow into that just became addictive. You know, just like I know, you’re super passionate about that, too.
Mark Divine 6:11
Yeah. That’s fascinating. So you went to the seminar? How did you end up working with Tony like to just knock on his door and say, I want to be one of your coaches or have that worked out?
Tom McCarthy 6:22
Well, at first when I went to the seminar at first, it was shocking, because I don’t know if you’ve been to a Tony Robbins seminar.
Mark Divine 6:28
date with destiny. The six day one. You did. Okay, good. I was invited to go to that. Because the guy who does their firewalking stuff is below Keith, and he’s a client, a coral. Yeah. Attendee and whatnot. And so he invited me, I was in the front row with Gavin Newson. And Maria Shriver. Neither gave me the time of day, by the way, which is kind of interesting. Yeah, that’s not to be expected. I
Tom McCarthy 6:50
neither one of those neither. Well, okay. Well, definitely not voting back into office next time and good calm. Yep, she’s up to but I won’t watch her anymore.
Mark Divine 7:00
How did you end up working with Tony.
Tom McCarthy 7:03
So that wasn’t the intent. I was a financial advisor. I had all these clients and I was doing well as young. I was like, 24 years old. But you know, I came out there. I just wanted to learn I wanted to grow. And at first when I got in the room, as you experienced, like, people are dancing around, I’m like, What the heck is going on? Like, I’ve never been there? Yeah. And I was super uncomfortable. I was in my 20s. I was from the East Coast. And so, you know, I don’t know about this thing. Like, this is a cult what’s going on in here? You know, he got up, he started talking like, Hey, this guy makes a lot of sense. Yeah. But it was really uncomfortable. As a matter of fact, I remember the first one, this was back in 1980. Like 85, I think, or sorry, 86. Maybe. And, you know, had to do this exercise, we had to mirror and match, like whatever the other person did. You had to do? Well, I’m matched up with LeVar Burton, and this guy’s just going nuts. And I’m more reserved, you know, more introverted person, and I was really out of my element, but I grew. And so that at the end of that program, he pitched this 14 Day Neuro Linguistic Programming certification program. And I signed up for it. It was 14 days, like you’re gone for two weeks. Wow. From your job. And I went out again, it was in Palm Springs. I think I came out there, and 14 days. And I just thought it was incredibly powerful. And that’s when I decided a financial advisors, amazing line of work. But I didn’t want to do that anymore. I wanted to help run his company. He had another guy that was like the CEO at the time, or maybe the president. And I interviewed with that guy who didn’t last that long, but I came on and then I ended up being the head of sales and Marketing for him for almost three years. Okay. Interesting.
Mark Divine 8:49
Was that when you first developed your speaking skills, were you on stage as well? Or would that come later?
Tom McCarthy 8:54
Yeah. So that’s interesting, because, you know, I don’t know about you, but most of the things I’m really good at now, I sucked at in the beginning. And so I was 9%. Yeah, I was introverted. I was shy. When I was six years old. I was standing too close to my middle brother. I had two younger brothers. So when my dad died, we were three, two and one. My mother really had a lot on her plate. But I was standing too close. We only had one golf club, and the whole family was like a seven iron somebody gave us. And so we had to share it inside waiting for it. We’re just in the backyard, not even hitting a golf ball, just swinging it. And he swung it and we kind of spun around too quick and smacked me right in the mouth. And so chipped my tooth down to the nerve. And so my mom took me to the free dentist, so they weren’t that interested in making it look pretty nice. It’s like I, you know, paying any money. How do we get this kid out of here? So I remember he put like a little clock or something on the nerve. And then he did a gold band around it right? So now it’s cool. It’s called a grill but at six years old, about nine years old. I had Like a gold tooth, so I never opened my mouth. And I was really shy. And I remember we hit like 1000 people in a program, which was like a big deal. And he was excited. And he said, I want to do something special for you, I thought I was gonna get a Rolex or, you know, a Ferrari or something. He said, I’m gonna let you do the introduction to my like, I don’t want to stand in front of 1000 people, and I blew it. You know, I scripted out what I was gonna say, which is the worst thing you can do, obviously, I lost my script. I lost my script that morning, I put it somewhere and I was doing something else and someone threw it away. So they’re like, get up there. Get up there. And I get up there. And I, I don’t want this ever happened to you before. But I totally cannot remember one doggone thing I was gonna say. And so I’m sweating. 1000 people, this sounds like a bad dream. It’s a very bad Oh, my God. And the only thing I think I said was I said, please welcome Tony Robbins, I ran off the stage. I told myself, I’m not good at this, I can’t do this. But fortunately, Tony, still good friend. And but he had a saying back then it was if you can’t, you must. And if you must, if you make it a must do well, I said, I gotta get good at this. And I started looking at people that were great at it like him, but also other people. And I figured out it’s really not that hard. There’s three things you need to speak, you need to have a compelling message and figure out how to do that you need to feel like a winner. So that mindset, you got to feel really good. You have to be in growth mode, not protection mode when you’re up there. And then the third thing is you have to energize engage people. And then same thing with leadership. I don’t think it was a great leader back then. But I learned a lot about leadership. And then same thing around performance, right? Like I remember being in college, you know, I was on the football team can’t really say at play, but not wanting to go in because I like I don’t want to screw up in front of 60,000 people. And now I love pressure. I mean, one of our sayings that our houses we pressure for breakfast in the McCarthy house.
Mark Divine 11:57
I love that. I’m gonna write that down. We pressure for breakfast. It’s kind of like this thing. Culture eats strategy for lunch, but sleep. What was he like for you? Was he and mentor or boss friend all the above? And cuz Tony has this kind of outsized reputation that some people do. I’m really positively some people aren’t so sure. Yeah, it was experience like for you, because I think Tony does a lot of good work. And I’ve been to his program was effective. It’s one of those things. It’s not for everybody, but it can be a powerful experience. Yeah.
Tom McCarthy 12:27
First of all, he is one of the most generous, big hearted human beings on the planet. Hmm. And then on top of that, the thing I really learned from him, and a lot of my work now is still based around this. And people I’m interested in meeting now, you know, like you This is something I think really is part of who you are. He had incredible intent, like unwavering intent at a young age, because he was in his 20s. And I met him too. He’s older than me, but not a lot older, he would set his sights so big. And it was almost like he didn’t know what he couldn’t do. Right? And which is great. We don’t know what you can’t do you do a lot of great things. When you convince yourself it can’t be done, man, you know, you don’t have the unbeatable mind to see that sign right back in there. And so that’s a big thing I learned from him. And a lot of people you see they peak early. And he certainly hit a peak early, but he’s just continued through time. And the big thing is just the power of his mind, which we all have that power, but he just goes bigger in his mind, then, you know, 99.9% of all human beings, right?
Mark Divine 13:37
It makes sense, because he’s a big dude. I mean, like the guy had that kind of condition where he just didn’t stop growing. Yeah, right. Like 610 or something like that. And just this
Tom McCarthy 13:48
classic 768 I think his brothers like, you know, five, four, or five, five, no kidding. Tony in high school was like five one, and then had a tumor on his pituitary gland, right, you know, large amounts of growth hormone and grew a lot. Yeah, within like a year or two, like to the point where it was painful for him.
Mark Divine 14:10
Tony has this mutant ability to be on stage for like 13 hours straight. And to maintain that energy. How do you think he does that? Is that genetic or just some skill that he cultivated?
Tom McCarthy 14:21
He does have extra growth hormone maybe. Could be that but honestly, I don’t think I think you can do that. Now. You can’t do that every day of your life. Right? You can do it for stretches, you know, going through the Navy SEAL training you were able to do things that you didn’t think you could do later on I actually facilitated part of this mastery University where I had to do that. You know, I’ve done that and programs I think anyone can do that. A lot of it’s mindset you can generate energy. That’s right. You know, people think I need my coffee I need you know, caffeine, you know, you don’t I’ve never had caffeine I really can’t say directly but I’ve never had coffee, last cup of coffee. I can remember having or even a sip of coffee. was my grandmother’s and I hated it. But I have a lot of energy when I need it. So I think that’s something we can all generate. And also, that would be what Tony would want you to know. It’s, he doesn’t want you to look up to him and say, Oh, my God, look at him. He’s so great. You know, just like, you don’t want people doing that to you. I don’t want people doing that. To me. It’s just here’s what’s possible. If you want it, go for it. You can do this, too. That’s right. Yeah.
Mark Divine 15:23
So you left there, and you started your own consulting and training business? What was that journey? Like? How did you get into working with Cisco and Microsoft, and some of these become Wells Fargo, other companies like that?
Tom McCarthy 15:34
Yeah, it started with a company actually, that didn’t do well, I had a company called Heroes and legends. And we were written up in Success Magazine, and we were gonna do well, we did do big programs, I had a partner in it, we had 30 employees, we had pretty good revenue, but we’re doing these big programs and bringing in, Tony brought in Pat Riley, you know, who was big at the time was, you know, Lakers coach, and that type thing, all these big names. And so we’re paying out big fees, we’re running out big venues, we’re paying all our employees, and I’m making no money. I have no money to yours. Oh, my gosh. And so then we ended up shutting that down, which, you know, was like, I didn’t want to do it, right. Because I’m one of those people that just believes like, no, it can be done, it can be done can be done. I think finally, my wife said, Hey, you gotta stop this, like you’re working, you know, 18 hours a day, and you’re not making any money and literally pumping money into the company. Right? Of course, I had some assets. But that was a tough one. But it’s really what led to everything I’m doing now. Because through that experience, we had made some connections with big companies. Because when I was with Tony was all the masses, it was individuals that were coming, we weren’t really connecting with big companies, it was, you know, sometimes they would send people, but it was individuals putting credit cards down, then I’d try to do heroes and legends, which was, you know, individuals putting credit cards down, you know, big companies, we’re talking to you, but the individuals pay, but we made some connections there. And then I said, Hey, corporate training, you can go in, you can work with a company, they write you one check, right, it’s incredibly profitable, because I didn’t need as many people, right. And so I started doing that. And I didn’t know if I was gonna do it forever. But then it just started growing. And we got into companies like Cisco Systems has been a huge, great client customer for us, but Salesforce, Microsoft, a lot in tech, and then also in the financial world, like MetLife, right? House Financial principle, lots of companies like that. Right?
Mark Divine 17:37
So what do you do with these companies? I mean, what specifically like for listener be like, that’s really interesting, Cisco, but what do you do? Like how, what value have you brought to the company or its leaders,
Tom McCarthy 17:46
we do a couple things. But you know, sometimes they’ll company will bring me in, I’ll do a keynote. So it’ll be like, you know, we’re just talking with a couple companies earlier today that I’m going to come in in January, and we’re going to do their sales kickoff for the year, right. So peak performance, and I’ve worked with four Olympic gold medalist on that. So peak performance work, that’s part of what we do. But the big part of what we do, actually two things. One is we show people how to communicate messages, and drive action. And that’s our presentation speaking, I wrote a book called win the presentation game, a lot of people are out, communicating to their teams or communicating to customers, they’re playing the game, and they don’t know how to win, right, it’s doing what they say everyone else do. So we feel like we have a way that really enables them to drive action quicker, in a way that’s good for the customer. So it’s not like getting them to do something they don’t want to do or need to do. But help them make a decision to take an action that’s good for them. And then good, obviously, for the communicator. And then the other area is leadership. So we work with senior executives, in a lot of these companies, around leadership around building culture, what I call surrounding yourself with winners, making sure you’ve got the right people on your team. And then another area that I love to talk about is your team’s CEO, which is Chief emotional officer, chief energy Officer and Chief engagement officer. Huh?
Mark Divine 19:14
What has surprised you about the corporate work?
Tom McCarthy 19:17
Something I didn’t know that was gonna happen, that did happen, was almost all our business now comes to us. And it comes via relationships. So if someone’s trying to get into the corporations to do training, and they’re cold calling, it’s gonna be a really, really tough road to do that. Yeah. When you have relationships, and then people go to another company, like the reason we’re in Microsoft was because an executive from Cisco Systems, went to Microsoft and then brought us along into that. So I think the big thing in my new book, The breakthrough code, one of the habits I have In there is to create your network of empowerment. And the thing that I guess has really surprised me is now again, I’ve been doing it a long time Mark. So I’m an old guy. But when you create this network of empowerment, the business really becomes easy. Yeah, because you’ve got all these great relationships that are either bringing you in directly or referring you. And that was really surprising, because I was used in that business. To consumer that I started with Tony Robbins is like, you got to go out there every day and find somebody new to bring into a program.
Mark Divine 20:35
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Tom McCarthy 23:20
from 30 years of really looking at what is it that allows people like you or Tony Robbins or anybody to create breakthroughs in areas where they get a little stuck? Yeah, but they don’t stay stuck. Or they don’t just you know, I’m stuck and then just fall back and go, I guess it can’t be done a little bit create breakthroughs. And what I like to do to Mark this is I think what I’m really good at is to take something complicated, because it’s probably pretty complicated. But then to simplify it, say okay, here’s what you do. Bolt bolt bolt,
Mark Divine 23:52
right. Make it a formula that universal. Yeah.
Tom McCarthy 23:55
And I like really no more than three things, which is hard sometimes because you’re like, Oh, really, it should be like five and like, Okay, well, how do you make it three? Like, how can you we without losing the power? How can you weave the fourth and fifth thing into one of the first three? Right? By the way, that’s important speaking what we always help people do because they’ll go with the 10 keys to blah, blah, blah. And I remember I used to do that. And I get into key number five, and I’m supposed to be teaching them the 10 keys. I can’t remember what number five is right? I got to look down. So I know they’re never gonna remember it after I stopped talking. So everything now for me is in threes. That right? That’s so the breakthrough code. Really, there’s three, what I call big ideas. Once you understand these, you truly can live what I call a life without limits. It doesn’t mean that everything’s perfect all the time. But it means where you find the limit that you don’t want to have. You can break through it. Now there’ll be other limits that will show up. Right that’s how we grow. But the first idea is, you know, I see it in you I see it in all great people. They’re not trying to be great at every single thing. They’re not trying to create a breakthrough, you know, every single area of their life like some areas are probably doing okay. Yeah, but what they do is they focus on less, and then obsess, which is our first big idea, right? Some people get freaked out by the word obsess. But I’m not necessarily talking about a conscious obsession. Sometimes that can be unhealthy if you’re consciously obsessed with just one area of your life. But we have two minds, we have our conscious mind, which processes about 40 bits of information per second, that’s most people obsessed with their conscious mind, right? But it’s already pretty limited, right? So you try to obsess with it, you’re taking more of its power away, we have this, people call it a subconscious, I call a superconscious. And by the way, I don’t think it resides just in your head, I think it extends out beyond you. I agree with that. That’s where you want to create the obsession because it can process then this is probably not even the true number. But according to research that people you know, that are in the know, they say it can process 40 million bits of information per second, right. But honestly, I think it connects into kind of a universal consciousness, there really are no limits on that, right? That’s what you want to program to obsess on. Because it doesn’t really have the 40 bit per second limitation. It doesn’t sleep. It’s out there, connecting in our dreams, you know, potentially like through astral travel, I don’t want to get too weird here. But there’s all sorts of things that it can do. And it can bring people into your life, it can notice things that consciously you’d never notice. Right, that are happening, a conversation that you’re drawn to. It’s that intuition that you feel sometimes. So that’s our first big
Mark Divine 26:46
idea. How do we connect with our superconscious, so that we can obsess from that perspective,
Tom McCarthy 26:51
the best times to do it are when you’re in an alpha state, or even in a deeper brainwave state, but most people do it in alpha, and you tend to be in an alpha state, when you wake up in the morning. It’s almost like daydreaming, you’re not quite out of your sleep beautiful time to connect with your superconscious. Mm hmm. And also before you go to bed, or then you could go into an alpha state, like I was just in one prior to me coming on with you or I went in an alpha state. And I was doing some programming of my superconscious I think I heard an episode of your podcast, and we have this same habit in common I call it, see it, feel it, believe it, and then let it go let the superconscious do its work. Mm hmm. But if you can’t see it, and you can’t feel it, and you don’t believe it, it’s just a fairy tale, like your superconscious is gonna go well, you don’t believe it? You know, you can’t see it. Show me what it looks like, show me what you want to accomplish. Right? Let me experience how it feels when you have it when it’s accomplished when it’s done. Yes. And make sure that you have that feeling of certainty, where this is a tough one to Mark, I heard you tell your story about when you were an accountant wanted to be a Navy Seal, and there’s only a certain amount of spots. But you knew, right that you had one of those spots? I think that’s what you said, right?
Mark Divine 28:12
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the power of visualization. And feeling it first. And I practiced that. And it took time. Yeah. But then that certainty suddenly showed up. And that’s when I knew it was gonna happen. I was charging the superconscious. Yeah.
Tom McCarthy 28:26
And that’s what you do. Like some people when they can’t see it, feel it or believe it, they just give up? You got to keep carving it, keep carving it in, right. And a great way for people that can’t visualize Well, yes, describe it to yourself, like describe it. As you’re visualizing, you know, I’m waking up, I’m feeling this way. And you know, maybe you’re not seeing it crystal clear, like you and I are looking at each other, right, but just keep carving away and describe it. And when you get to that point of certainty, then the superconscious is locked in, right, and everybody can get there. But most people will quit because it’s not easy right away. It’s not easy, because they haven’t practiced it just like anything else.
Mark Divine 29:06
100% agree with that. takes practice and takes time and patience. One other
Tom McCarthy 29:10
thing I would say though, on this too. The other thing that the superconscious really responds to is when whatever this breakthrough, you want this result, I don’t even call it a goal. A goal is something I want I call it a result, because when I think of result is something that’s done. Yeah. So it creates more certainty in me. And when you are programming a result in so you’re seeing it as if it’s already happened. That’s part of the process. That’s what we do with athletes, we have them see it already being done before it’s done. Right. But feeling that level of certainty. So the inner mind, sees it done sees it accomplished. But the other thing I think that’s important is we all have a purpose in life. We’re all here for a unique reason. I’m sure you’ve heard the Mark Twain quote the two most important days of your life, right? Yeah, the day you were born and the day you find out Why, when you can connect a result to your purpose, then the superconscious really charges up. For instance, if somebody wants to just make a lot of money to make a lot of money, yeah, it’ll go kind of hard for that. And maybe you’ll get it. But if you want to make a lot of money or have a big net worth, because your purpose in life is to help other people accomplish their dreams, or show them what’s possible. And so you’re connecting, hey, if I’m going to be able to show other people what’s possible in life, then if I can create a big result, a goal for making a lot of money, then I should be able to do that, right. And by doing that, I’m going to be a better teacher to other people how to break through their limitations. Now, the sudden, it’s not just the money, it’s a means to actually fulfilling your purpose. And so that’s what I do. And my goal in life is to help people see who they really could be, and just come out of their shell, I see people in boxes, even myself, I know I’m in a box. Even though I’ve done some nice things in life. I know I’m still boxing myself in and I’m trying to break out of that box. And if I can do that, and have little results in my life, or big results in my life, I’ll get better at helping other people do
Mark Divine 31:19
it. Indeed. I love that. Okay, so what’s the second principle in your breakthrough code?
Tom McCarthy 31:24
Second big idea is to upgrade your story. Upgrade your life. And this is a trick question to most people, you’ll probably not for you. But what’s the most powerful story you’ll ever hear?
Mark Divine 31:35
Most Powerful story I ever hear is usually around can’t and won’t. Shouldn’t and couldn’t. Yeah, yeah. And that’s powerful in a negative way. That’s what I’m saying. The negative stories are extremely powerful, because they Yeah, trapped in that box, you’re talking about a very?
Tom McCarthy 31:49
Yeah, well, I love it. The most powerful story anyone will ever hear is the one they tell themselves. That’s who they are. What’s possible. What are they meant to do? Part of our stories are created very early on when we don’t have any filters. So from age one, or zero to six, or seven, depending upon the research, we are living in an alpha state, in a hypnotic state where a watch our parents, our parents say, life is tough. You just can’t ever get ahead. Or you, you know, you got to be where everyone’s out to get you, things like that. Because we’re trying to learn how to walk and eat and what to touch and what not to touch and you know how to treat other people. And then later on, we figure out why am I always, you know, so defensive around people. My dad might not my dad, because my dad passed away when I was young, but you know, someone go back and go, and my dad was, you know, saying people are always out to get you. And so we have to let go of the old baggage, right? We literally have to figure out like, what’s going on? Why am I not feeling good? Like when you’re going for a result? You’ll have sometimes emotions pop up, like, oh, I don’t think I’m gonna get there. Well, why do I think I’m not going to get there? Like what’s showing up? And you have to be a detective, you got to do the research of what’s underneath? Or what is the belief, the experience the thought, and you’ve got to get rid of it, you’ve got to extract it. Most people think no, you just pile on more positive, it’s hard to do. Because you have this thing down below, and you’re just putting positive on top of it, it’s still gonna keep popping up, right? When you extract it. Now you create room for more positive thoughts, emotions, and then I call supercharging. So what I help people do is figure out what’s stopping them right now. And then literally extract it, there’s lots of really cool powerful techniques you can do to do that. Even if the memory is still there, the energy attached to the memory is gone. Right? You can think about it, but it doesn’t throw you off anymore.
Mark Divine 33:44
That’s one of the powers of NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming.
Tom McCarthy 33:47
Yeah, NLP and a lot of psychology and energy healing work is really good for that. Right? On top of that, once you create space, by letting go of your old baggage, then you can create a story. So for instance, my story literally for speaking, the one I tell myself before I get up to speak in front of a lot of people is I loved being with this team or this group. They’re like my friends and family. I connected with them. Instantly, we had a blast. So those are some thoughts. I call them Oh, pts. optimal performance thoughts. I use my whole voice and body to make what I said fascinating and then emotions. I say I’m loving, caring and connected. I’m literally feeling like love for these people in connection, and I care for them. And remember that first sentence, you know, they’re like my friends and family total mind yet, right? Most of the time. I’m doing what my mom told me not to do. She said don’t talk to strangers. You know, this is great, because I know you but most of the time I’m talking to strangers, right? But I feel really good about being with them because I feel like they’re friends. And all it is is a story not even a true story. But a story I tell myself I believe in. And I really do feel like they’re friends like, Yeah, it’s crazy how you can not trick your mind, but mold your mind. Because I tell people, I don’t really care if my story is accurate. I just want to have a story that allows me to be the best I can be.
Mark Divine 35:17
That’s right. Stories in the eyes of the beholder, right, you know, our mind is here to shape our reality. So when we take control of our minds, we can take control of the story, which shaped the reality.
Tom McCarthy 35:27
One other thing I would say that you’re really good at the last one, I’ll just add on the story. A lot of people can create a story, Mark, and then the first time that the story gets challenged, because life will challenge your new story. Right? Life is sitting there. Oh, you created a new story on divine? Yeah. Like, you know, bring that new story out here. Let me test it. And so stuff gets thrown at you get kicked in the ass, right? Not literally, but it feels like that with adversity and challenges. And then most people waffle, they’re like, oh, you know, it can’t be true. You know, the same thing that made you such a great seal the top person in your class, like you got to stick to the new story, even when it doesn’t look like you should. You’ve got to stick to that story. And just like, you know, making it stronger, and bolding that story, and then it really take life.
Mark Divine 36:18
What’s a good strategy to stick to a story when you’re really suffering and you’re down, like, let’s put this to relate it to the pandemic, a lot of people, their stories were kind of shattered in 2020 2021. You know, they don’t want to continue living a broken story, right? And so that’s why I have the great resignation. 25% of the workforce is quit. And so they’re in the middle of concocting a new story. So what’s a good strategy for helping them stick to their new story in 2022?
Tom McCarthy 36:44
Well, it comes down to grit. It also comes down to I think, being prepared to just know it’s gonna get challenged. I think most people when they set out on a goal, I’ll use that word I don’t like using that word is set on a goal. They have a fairy tale of a fairy tale story in their head. Oh, I got this goal. It’s gonna be great. It’s gonna be easy. We’re gonna get there quick. No, no challenges. It’s not true. Yeah, but the universe is always working in your favor. That’s a big thing in the book, too. Like, what I did with my book. It’s a parable. So it’s a story. I wanted to make it real because my life, I’ve had some successes. But I’ve had a ton of challenges, like just stuff like I’m wired, come on why I deserve this. But the reality is, when I look back in my life, I go, wow, that made me. Yeah, that thing that I thought was like, so terrible and awful. And what happened to me that shifted my mind that broke down an old story that made me have to create a new story, right? And one thing that I do tell my kids, I’ve told them for a long time, there’s always an advantage no matter what happens, there’s always an advantage. So for me, when COVID hit, I literally had that thought in my head. I’m not trying to make myself, you know, seem like wow, Isn’t he great? Because I wasn’t, but I was just prepared for anything. Like when you’ve had enough adversity in your life and ambiguity like I’ve had in my life, it’s like COVID didn’t faze me, right. And my training business was about 96%, myself or my team flying out, doing engagements or coaching sessions all over the world, right? And boom, like, I was even worried Mark coming into March, I was looking at Oh, my God, why didn’t put all this on my schedule. Like, this is crazy. You know, I don’t want to have to go to Australia and come back and then go to London and then go to London again the next week. And then the universe said, Okay, we got you and it wiped it off. Don’t even worry about it. But it didn’t freak me out. I was just like, All right, we need to virtualize our business anyways, let’s do it. And we had a bad couple months, right? And then we kicked it up. Like after about three or four months, we were doing as much business virtual as we were doing face to face creating some new programs. And then this year, we’ll have profitability wise, we’ll have our best year ever. And we’re still going out a little bit but not very much. But I think get excited about whatever happens when some stuff shows up. That’s going to challenge your story. You should have that Navy SEAL mentality. Not you but the people because you have it. You should be like alright, let’s go baby hanging on. Yeah, let’s go.
Mark Divine 39:26
Okay, we’re gonna take a short break here from the Mark Divine show, to hear a short message from one of our partners. This episode of the Mark Divine show is brought to you by progressive. What’s one thing you purchase with electro savings, a weighted blanket smart speaker, that new self care trend you keep hearing about? Well, progressive wants to make sure you’re getting what you want by helping you save money on car insurance. Drivers who save by switching to progressive save over $700 On average, and customers can qualify for an average of six discounts when they sign up discounts like having multiple vehicles on your policy. Progress. offers outstanding coverage and award winning claim service day or night they have customer support 24/7 365 days a year, when you need them the most. They’re at their best. A little off your rate each month goes a long way, get a quote [email protected] and see why four out of five new auto customers recommend progressive. This episode of Unreal mind is brought to you by the Jordan Harbinger show. If you’re looking for another podcast that’s entertaining, informative and packed with actionable content with an excellent host, then Jordan Harbinger is your guy. You know, the average podcast listener has six shows in rotation. So I’d love for you to add his show into your rotation. Because if you’d like my show, you’re going to love his it’s a top shell podcast. It was named Best of Apple in 2018. So it’s not just my suggestion. But Apple and a lot of people like me love his podcast. He dives into the minds of fascinating people like he’s all over the place with really interesting thing athletes, author scientific scientists, mobsters, spies hostage negotiators. I love his recent episodes with Ray Dalio, the thought leader around finance and kind of world economics, and is also with Tony Hawk, who’s a local individual that I know here who’s obviously created the professional sport of skateboarding. He’s an undeniable talent, he gets his guests to share things that they never thought about before even and without fail, he puts tactical bits of wisdom into each episode all actionable, I think you’re really gonna like this podcast I’m a fan to definitely Jordans the man when it comes to podcasting. And his is one of the most highly rated self development shows out there. Point blank Jordans. Funny, he’s smart. This is easy to listen to show it’s worth your time. Can’t go wrong with the Jordan Harbinger show search for Jordan Harbinger show that’s a TR B as in boy i n as Nancy G our search for it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks, Jordan. And now back to the show. Changes is persistent. And it seems to be getting faster and more intense. You know, we’re in that kind of exponential age. Disruption is the name of the game. So we have to learn how to disrupt ourselves. And if we’re running an organization or a team, we have to learn how to disrupt that. Yeah. So we’re in a constant evolutionary state, not when the crisis hits. That’s what I believe that we need to become self evolutionary. And make that a day by day practice. In essence, yeah, so that when the change comes, we just rolling it because we’ve already changed ahead of the change. Yeah.
Tom McCarthy 42:37
Well, that’s what I say you either disrupt or you will be disrupted and so correct. When I was younger, I never wanted to be disruptive. Like, I just wanted things to go smooth and easy. Now, my team’s always saying, hey, stop changing things. Like, you know, like, we just got this training down on you add this new thing, and I go, Yeah, but it’s better. Right?
Mark Divine 42:57
I do the same thing. It drives my team crazy. We’re finally getting used to the constant change. And so it’s been my little training program. That’s awesome. Time. Yeah. What’s the future hold for you? Like you’re gonna continue doing the corporate work? Or do you have some other vision that’s unfolding?
Tom McCarthy 43:13
Yeah. So my life has been really interesting. Back in 2015, I got chronic fatigue, because I was traveling all around and not sleeping different time zones, and I got a little virus, you know, this is prior to COVID. That’s why COVID didn’t freak me out, I got a virus back in 2015. And because I had let my immune system get worn down, you know, really threw me for a loop. And for like, eight, nine months, I had very low energy, hard to get out of bed sleeping like you know, 1011 12 hours a day and exhausted. But one of the things that I delved into and I’ve always had an interest in it was energy healing, because I, I go to MDs, but I go to more functional MDs, if I ever have an issue. I don’t go to doctors very often at all, I mean, either, but then I was even going into like alternative medicine and you know, trying different treatments, and I wasn’t getting better. And the only thing that got me better was really some energy psychology techniques. Because my amygdala, the problem was, it was just over activated. I was in fight or flight because this virus didn’t go away. And I’m used to like, first of all, not getting sick. And then if I get sick, I come back quick. And that didn’t happen. And so I had to re energize my amygdala Am I reprogram it, basically? Yeah. And so then I got really fascinated in energy healing, and how everything’s energy. I’ve always believed that Einstein said, everything’s energy, energy follows thought. And so with our minds, we can heal. And we can even provide energy for other people send people energy. I think that’s a lot of what I learned from Tony Robbins. Like I remember him telling me before he goes into a big room of people. He literally is visualizing his energy leaving him right and going and circling the room and empowering people. And that was a long time ago that he shared that with me. So I hosted this past year the global energy healing center. it, which was really cool. I interviewed 41 different people that some were experts on what to eat because food is energy, right? Everything is energy, and somewhere traditional energy healers where they actually send energy to people that have diseases or conditions that they need help from. And that was mind blowing.
Mark Divine 45:19
I just participated in a group coherence healing with Joe Dispenza. Oh, cool. Yeah, he’s awesome. It was fascinating. And I did a partly because it was offered for me as a veteran. Yeah, it was free and they would have you in this session where there’s prep from Joe and this is all taped. I think he program is kind of virtualized for him. 18 people come in, who are trained healers, literally turn your computer screen off, there’s four people and the subjects the Heelys, and then these 18 people will go through each one and do exactly what you’re talking about. Yeah, because they’re healing attentional energy. And it was really interesting. And then you have a little survey as part of it, like, how did it affect in this one woman? Joy was completely transformed in five sessions. Wow, you know, I’ve done a ton of work. And I, you know, like, what did you feel? I said, Well, I felt a lightness, you know, and I felt warmth in my heart, you know, because people were directing.
Tom McCarthy 46:09
And you were sending it out to them, or you were receiving, I was receiving
Mark Divine 46:13
a reading, okay, because it was offered to me as a military vet. And yeah, I like to vet things that I’m recommending. That’s, you know, what I mean, so to speak. Yeah. Because we’ve got a veteran organization called the courage foundation. So like, I’ve tried a lot of the healing modalities. So you know, if someone says, Hey, you know, brain stimulation is very helpful to heal TBI and like, Okay, let me try it. Make sure there’s no adverse side effects. So I did brainstem last year, and a few other things that it probably won’t go into right now. Yeah, but my point is, I really agree with you on this, you know, and this is more of the future work. So I’m really excited to hear you getting into that. Yeah. People working together to heal each other and to heal the environment. If we can scale that, then that’ll change the world.
Tom McCarthy 46:55
Absolutely. I ran into an all I introduce you to this guy, but I ran into a guy actually heard about his work in 2015. I just interviewed him 77 year old guys coolest guy. And Appalachian. You know, he’s got a southern accent. He lives on 350 acres. Nice. He’s the least likely person you would ever think as an energy healer and Energy Master. Right. But he was a construction foreman. He learned about Silva mind control back in the 70s and met Jose Silva.
Mark Divine 47:25
I’ve been to a few of those courses. Yeah, I know. So and then he became
Tom McCarthy 47:29
one of their top instructors connected with Native American Shamans, medicine men, and learn from them and then he got into dowsing. You know, a lot of people think dowsing is just to find water. Mm hmm. But you can Dows to remove energy you can choose to put energy into situations. And you know, so he has like a little pendulum. It is like a 45 caliber shell because he’s a mountain man, right? He can’t use a hat. He has like a revolver. He goes into town. He says, I love this guy. But he’s the kindest, coolest guy that you’ll ever meet. These become a good friend of mine. He says all you really need is intent. But he’s done amazing things like Mark, you mentioned healing the planet. He said in Canada, someone called him up. And they’re well had arsenic in it. He’s 3000 miles away. There’s some of that knew him. His work has been spread into 142 different countries. So he’s pretty well known around the world. Yeah. And they said, you know, we’ve got arsenic, our water is not drinkable. He said, Alright, let me work on it. He literally worked on it with his mind turning the arsenic into water. Now, some people are like, Whoa, this is a little weird. Yeah. But it’s really fascinating. They measured it the next day, the Canadian authority, whatever measures it and they said 90% of the arsenic that was in there yesterday is gone. He said, well give me another day. And he worked on it again. And they measured it like 30 days later. And it was almost all gone. He’s working with groups that are using the power of their mind to clean up rivers around the world. Oh, fantastic. He had a farmer call him up and say, I need your help. We had some weeds in our Falfa. So he’s growing like hey, and I called the spraying agency as they came out and sprayed it with the sprayed with Roundup. Roundup, as you know is like the worst. So killed everything. Now my friend His name is Raymond he didn’t know that, that we knew is sprayed with Roundup, but he thought was just sprayed. And the guy said, Can you help me? So let me work on it. And he says, You know, I didn’t know I couldn’t do it. So I just worked on it. He mentally turned the roundup into fertilizer. And he said, Call me back and see what happens. He didn’t hear back from the friend. Until 30 days later, the friends sent him a picture where the hay had grown to like five feet tall, the biggest crop they’d ever had. Instead of getting three cuttings, he got five cuttings. And then he told my friend Raman Yeah, there was nothing even left after the roundup because it was done like a week before I called you. And Raymond said if I would have known that I might Not even have done it. But because he didn’t know that and he used his mind right now, again, this might be freaking people out. But this is where I’m really going with my work. And what the breakthrough code is really a lot about. It’s like using your mind to create results that you would never get just with hard work. Right? Right, you still have to put the work in. But using your mind as a precursor that allows you to create results that you’d never get any other way.
Mark Divine 50:25
100% I mean, you’re onto something. The age we’re in is no longer the information age, we’re in the conceptual age. And so everything that we learn to do in the industry in the information age as human beings is going to be outsourced to AI and robots. And so what’s left is the humaneness of creativity and conceptualization, you know, tell a new story about what’s possible. And that’s what you’re doing with a breakthrough code. Yeah, and I love this story about the Appalachian I’d love to meet him and interview him as well. It reminds me a really cool book series I read called ringing cedar series is about this woman who grew up in the Tiago or basically the Siberian forest. I guess she was raised by her grandparents, but she wanted to live in the woods. So she stayed in the woods. And she had befriended the animals, you know, so the bears would dig for her and the wolves protected her and the Eagles looked out for her fascinating story and her power. She’s from this ancient line of Vedic philosophers, yogi’s essentially, I didn’t realize that the Vedic tradition extended far into Russia, but it did. Yeah. Wow. Her gift was this intense power to see, and to shape reality through her mind with imagery. Yeah. And the reason I brought it up, because this idea of collective healing, tells a fascinating story about a future vision she had about children, focusing their minds to essentially disable nuclear weapons. Wow. Isn’t that incredible? Yeah. And I believe that’s true. It’s super inspiring. I think it’s possible to through microbial network or whatever mycelium network, there’s some you know, it could be just energy, or it could be activating, you know, the power of Mother Earth essentially destroy the weapons through decay or through, you know, yeah, biology, devouring them or something. It’s just fascinating.
Tom McCarthy 52:05
There’s a lot more we can talk about on this, because that’s my instinct, we’ll have to do that another day. But one thing I will say, I do agree, a lot of the jobs will go away. And some that people have gotten used to for a long time, the manufacturing jobs and different jobs like that, and people are in fear. But the good thing, and my friend Raman told me this, I do believe it. He’s been measuring energy and people. So with your pendulum using a scale, you can measure energy, and I don’t know what it relates to. But he said 30 years ago, he started measuring energy. And he said, a good healthy guy like you with good thoughts, you would have the equivalent of whatever scale this was like, 30,000, right, you know, you can measure your energy and it would come to 30,000. And then, you know, someone was not healthy, or they had destructive habits, it could go all the way down to zero, potentially. But he said, every year was growing every every measure, you know, it was growing. And he said in the past year, it’s grown more than in the past 23 years, or however many years he’s been doing it fascinating. 30,000 was like, you know, top of the top. Now, he said he’s measuring people with 150,000. Again, that voltage or not exactly sure, he doesn’t even know exactly what it is. But think of more energy available to create. That’s the way I think of it. I agree, or more energy available to destruct. I think people have so much of this creative power. They’re not knowing how to use it yet, which is why you’re seeing all this conflict, you know what’s happening in our world too. So if we can get it to be more creative, and uplifting for everybody, we’re in a great place to transition from the menial labor, the manufacturing roles to really creating an amazing evolution of who we are
Mark Divine 53:50
100% agree. And there’s tons more to say on that, too. But, man, what a fascinating conversation. So the energy healing, you’re gonna run that again next year. Where can people learn more about they’re gonna be on
Tom McCarthy 53:59
it? I’m gonna be on it. I’m really excited about Yeah, so that’ll be in March. Okay, you’ll hopefully be letting all these people know about it. It’s not available to sign up for yet. It will be free though. So you can come and we’ll have about 60 different interviews with amazing people like you Mark and lots of other really cool people. So that’ll be a lot of fun. And then the book The breakthrough code is coming out. February 25. Great, the site the breakthrough code.com Buy the book, if you preorder it then we also have a really cool masterclass, that normally is about $495, but you get it for free with the order book.
Mark Divine 54:36
Awesome. And if somebody wanted to connect to you, let’s say they’re interested in your coaching or speaking training, where would they find you
Tom McCarthy 54:42
for that? Tom? mccarthy.com So t om MCC AR th y.com
Mark Divine 54:48
Awesome. Well, Tom, thanks so much for your time and for putting so much great positive energy in the world and being on this co creative journey with myself and others to make the world a better place. Our vision for the future is one of abundance. and creativity and connection, as opposed to you know what people are being fed by the mainstream media and, you know, most people think so. But we got to create that one person at a time. You’re doing
Tom McCarthy 55:10
an amazing job creating it, Mark. I’m so glad to call you a friend and have known you for so many years and just watching your work and amazement. So phenomenal job.
Mark Divine 55:19
Thank you, Tom. Thank you very much for that and likewise and talking again soon. Awesome. Who we are. All right, brother take care. Well, that was a fascinating interview is very different than I thought it was going to be. I’ve known Tom for 30 years. And man, he’s really got some great insight and I love the work he’s doing in energy and healing. Show Notes and transcripts are on our site at Mark Divine.com. And the video will be going up at our YouTube channel, Mark Divine.com/youtube. You want to find me on Twitter. My handle is Mark Divine. And at Instagram and Facebook. It’s real Mark Divine, you always find me on LinkedIn as well. We’ve got a new newsletter, divine inspiration if you’d like to get some divine inspiration in your inbox, and please go to Mark Divine calm and subscribe. Special shout out to my amazing team, Jason Sanderson, Geoff Haskell, Michele Czarnik and Amy Jerkowitz, who produced this excellent podcast, helping find incredible guests. And doing that everything soup to nuts, recording, editing, and producing the show every single week, it’s a ton of work. They’re amazing. I also love reviews. And if you’ve reviewed the show, thank you very much if you haven’t considered reviewing it, because it really helps other people find the show and it gives it credibility. We’ve got over 1005 star reviews, I’d love to see that grow to 5000 in 2022 also really helps if you just refer the show, send an email about it or let someone else know that you think that the Mark Divine show is worthy. It’s up to us to take action on becoming people worthy of changing the world. And so when we can do that at scale, then the world will change. That’s our mission at the Mark Divine show and also at my company Unbeatable. So please join us on the journey. And I thank you for your listening. Till next week.